natalie

i blog when i get bored,
and get bored when i blog.
he is undergoing ns,
what do you expect?
really.

links

e-retailtherapy

tag

maybe later

archives

August 2008 - September 2008 - October 2008 - February 2009 - March 2009 - April 2009 - May 2009 - June 2009 - July 2009 - August 2009 - September 2009 - October 2009 - November 2009 - December 2009 - January 2010 - March 2010 - June 2010 - July 2010 - August 2010 - September 2010 -

Sunday, April 26, 2009


別怕我愛的太多 愛你我很快樂

你儘管放心接受 這樣溫柔 和我

haven't felt worse.


here at 2:40 AM


Friday, April 24, 2009


gakazu

it all feels like something to test my limits. how far exactly will i go for you? if you are impatient, wondering why on earth am i not speaking, maybe not a good manner to reach out by putting yourself upfront, then scamper back in denial almost instantly. these are not assumptions again, these are what i feel. if you now decide you care not at this point, option is yours to continue.

i don't get it. no i am not angry. i wanna help this confused fellow. but i don't get it. if it's not this and it's not that and you can't express what it is, how and why did this conversation even begin? what exactly is it, it's mind boggling.

we were discussing the 'can or cannot', and irregardless of the outcome, you requested to remain status quo, then there is no point bringing this up babe because we are happy the way we are now, bringing it up complicates things. i appreciate your thoughts and if that was all that's needed then let's endofstory now. or is it just something that you were already dubious of and just needed a confirmation? in that case it was never considered if it would bother me. and back to para one, don't put your views across in order to retrieve information.

the last 2 from you hit the spot - it is not like this, but it is not like that too. maybe you need to review those 2 texts, you were see that what you were trying to mean there is equivalent to what i mentioned before them. it's a puzzle-fitting situation and sorry hun, in this cruel world there is no such selfish acceptance.

don't talk, don't even attempt to talk, when you are confused. now things have just complicated a level further.

i refuse to budge or do a shit about that and there is nothing much we can do. so i will make sure i can. trust me when i say i never had the least intention to allow this friendship to stray out of being platonic. i did everything i can but you are my friend and i have conscience and limited excuses.

i ought to be flattered, and thank you, but you and i are only human. sorry.


here at 1:30 AM


Monday, April 20, 2009



Hyna says:
John asks his grandpa: 'Do you still have sex with Granny?'
Grandpa says: 'Yes, but only Oral'.
John says: 'what is oral?'
Grandpa: 'I say F**k you, and she says:F**k you too'


here at 3:17 PM


Saturday, April 18, 2009


the mini life

firstly, happy birthday to the darlings of this week (and every other week) :-
qx of 14 apr,
weesin of 16 apr, and
jamie of 16 apr, too.
:3 :3 :3

i am dead tired, it's 1:27am in Singapore. yet i'm going against the will of nature, just to be sitting here, for nothing at all.


feeling defeated.

i've battled through this. for a whole six months. okay most probably lesser from the day i paid attention. perhaps 4. now only to be feeling debilitated by a piece of news that didn't even sound like 4 seconds.

my priced obsession...
ya i know! so it was never possessed (by me) before. wtf is wrong with you!

at wits' end. i've been saying that some action will roll in should this ever happen but seriously, not such a good idea. especially when it's me. i can't and i won't. and i'm talking like a very motivated loser now who brought up the idea and won't conduct it and would rather let this fiasco be buried and hopefully everyone plus myself will let it go eventually.

so anyway! anyone needs a cookie? i'm getting 10 big, rounded, and lovely ones this Sunday!

i had the coolest shock from a friend just 2 days back. was told in my face this unpleasant feeling of hers that i'd rather she be beating-about-the-bush. and she seemed pretty proud claiming that it's 'honesty' at a later time.

i'm sorry Bub, by bringing out your name i hope i'm displaying 'honesty' too. and we've always said how unhappiness should be put straight across the table, but we've never discussed when would be a good time right? when you said what you said, that, was not a good time at all.

while i was there drilling hard and deep on the words to comfort you, i had to hear that kinda crap. i know i didn't appear as if it had hit the top but i hope you know it did. and clearly for the years you've known me, i don't display my emotions off my face or simply shoot it off my mouth. and end of the day, i don't need or want to argue with you. it was a very bad day for you, and it was eventually more so for me.

just to clear the air, in case you are feeling that i should somewhat be responsible for what happened to you, i studied doubly or maybe even triply as hard. if our results are the other way round, i will truly be happy for you, and scold myself only at home for not trying harder.



i don't mean to end this abruptly but i cannot find the words to say.


here at 1:17 AM


Thursday, April 16, 2009


damaged

something so wrong, but i am feeling happy while i angle in on it. and very clearly, the core holds a deterring factor. and managing to pull away a little each time, i get drawn back in further.

how ah?


here at 1:22 PM


Tuesday, April 14, 2009


challenged

i did shut off a couple of times this morning. i didn't manage to find a solution good enough therefore decided i need something interesting to read.

i requested Hian to provide some good reading material. in turn, he said both of us should like blog our take on 10 items, namely:
1) finding nemo ! HAHAHHAH (i just happen to see it )
2) boxed tissue zLOL wtf!
3) procrastination !!!
4) vocal individuals
5) london choco roll (wah fuck)
6) yeo keng hian zlolllll
7) v.day presents
8) facial expressions
9) retirement looking back at the past 5 years
10) my first windfall
where he suggested the items in odd numbers, and i did the even.

we are to discuss whatever we think of the said topic. here goes.

finding nemo
seriously who cares about nemo? not that i love animation no more, but nemo is like long overdue? right, if you are a frequent patron of Newton Circus, there is still this seemingly impaired (yet ablebodied) man who puts on a nemo headwear, roaming around selling stuffed toys. nothing personal.

boxed tissue
Hian asked me "why boxed tissue?!", i don't know. i'm in a situation myself now. darn. who on earth would wanna talk about boxed tissue, really?
i've discussed this all before, with my colleagues who happened to be with me when i towed a set of 5 boxes out of shop&save last week. i had to do that irregardless of how auntified i looked. dollie and mewkie is incessantly in need of tissue, and no one at home has the decency to help me out with this bit.
so one of my colleagues actually told me she prefer certain brands. this particular brand have thicker ply, lesser paper dust. i came to realize that i haven't been paying much attention to such details. age have taken its toll on me, now that i have to assume the duties of my mom, being the one who brings the tissue home.

procrastination
this is like spot-on for me. hello Hian, did you just ever so intentionally?
i am operating on multiple procrastinations, even at this very moment. i don't know, i am not exactly that motivated at certain activities. affairs of the heart especially. i'm not in favor of being over enthusiastic. it keeps reminding me that the adverse will surface.
work, school, my little girls even. their designated bath day is every Saturday. sometimes it happens on a Sunday, the worst case scenario took place on the following Sunday.
and i'm really supposed to complete a report for my manager by this week.


i'm beginning to feel that 10 items is a bit too much...and i'm beginning to feel sian already.

well, for the sake of the challenge.


vocal individuals
not as if i know much of such people, but the very few that i have in my life now is annoying the hell out of me.
first of all, i cannot stand people who have very strong opinions, and who uses them trying to rule out your ideas at every possible attempt, as if you do not have a mindset of your own. i mean, sure why not, put your ideas across and lets discuss it, but don't PUSH it cos it's burning me!
i know i'm digressing but who cares now that i have things to say? though this next category may not be too vocal, but pisses me off just as bad - people who feels they are a class above the rest. these people, i feel, have poor IQ and needless to say, zero EQ. people who expects the other party to accept their instructions (not even requests, mind you) without a single mumble. a decider, in other words, who goes for no second opinion.

london choco roll
thanks babe.
london choco roll~ london choco roll~
奶香choco味~ 双重口味美~
london choco roll~ 香浓又美味~
choco roll, choco roll, LONDON CHOCO ROLLLLLLL

okay. then? and yes Hian i'm laughing to myself like a retard. thanks.
overall this london choco roll has became a joke overnight. weird tune, funny dancers, haunting soprano.
people (like myself) wanting to try this product will have second thoughts, afraid that people over the counter will mock at them with the song.

yeo keng hian
yes! finally! a tall little small guy from my class of 3E5 & 4E5 WRS. a place i was perpetually and physically detached with.
10 years now. funny how he's gonna find out how i think of him this way. so publicly. BUT WHO GIVES A DAMN LA! 笑大大声!!! and a disclaimer beforehand. the below are written in accordance to my personal opinions of him and the facade that he's been portraying before me, nothing to do with who he really is.
badly malnutritioned, Hian do not let it hinder his zeal.

v.day presents
i don't really celebrate vday. i don't understand why human need a day to be specified to feel especially in love. that's absurd if you ask me. are vdays reserved for deprived 18 year olds only?
but yes, the topic here is presents. i still get presents. happier each time. i don't remember the past very well, but my past 4 vdays were spent with xan, he who made up a big part of me. he's not a genius at surprises, and each time he tries to spring one on me, i had to act really shocked, and he always knows that i'm acting. but still am thankful for the effort.
he intentionally bought me a silly, trembling, stuffed, pig toy on vday 2006. when he handed that to me in a plastic bag full of chocolates, he appeared all surreptitious. i immediately searched all over his car for something else in disbelief while he continued yelling "don't have already!" but i found a sookee gift box in the drawer. ever so excitedly, i untied the ribbon. nothing, nothing inside. it's just an empty gift box. and i was then somehow convinced when he said "this is my mom's". i didn't think it was easy for him either, when he asked "can you help me grab my street directory from the boot?". true enough, i see a bouquet of birds of paradise and a ring box.
2007 - i received a leehwa necklace. lol he asked me to go shop around and i did, only to walk past leehwa, saw him in there making his selection. got very pissed off with his florist in this year too.
2008 - i can't remember what happened this year. was it the olympus camera?
2009 - received my newest toy, nikon d90 (:

facial expressions
i dunno what to say about this actually.
it's just another form of expressions, no? i can't believe i came up with this. thinking, thinking.

looking back at the past 5 years
almost 4 of which was occupied by xan, again. been at extreme ends of happiness and sadness.
5 years back i was still someone who sits at mohamed sultan every night, without fail. i don't have to call, i know i'll see a friend there, and almost everyone is a friend. and i didn't have to care if i was in a skimpy dress or in the ugliest sweater paired with shorts, walking about in puffy eyes. 5 years back i lost a very much treasured person. 5 years back i was a very lost person, and was magically happy being lost. never knew i'd managed to get out of it.
the past 4 years i have been very sheltered. thankfully, he didn't give up on me, and has been watching over my every move for that devastating year. he didn't turn away at every rejection, though he still may not understand why. he helped me back on track, though he gets off some times too.

my first windfall
i don't know how am i gonna achieve that when i only bothered to buy 4D once a year. but if it so happens, i will buy a boxster-S, get a new apartment, buy 2 more yorkies, and fly everywhere feeling worry-free. i so wanna get away for hot air ballooning ):

that will be all for now i suppose, of cos will add on if i discover any missed parts.


here at 11:26 AM


Monday, April 13, 2009


whatever happened to the chinese roots?

had this purpose-less conversation with 2 close friends. very silly conversation. gonna be confusing!

我me
Decipher
Hyna

nat; says:
她真的要你把她讲的顶呱呱
Decipher says:
whats the last 3 words?
Decipher says:
yang wa wa?
Decipher says:
doll ah?
nat; says:
LOLLLLLLLL

Decipher says:
她真的要你把她讲的yang wa wa

nat; says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA WATF
nat; says:
ok cannot liao u stop talking for a while


-pasted above conversation to Hyna-
Hyna says:
whahahahah
Hyna says:
nonsense sia

-

nat; says:
放马过来
nat; says:
wad u wna say again
Decipher says:
bu yao pa
Decipher says:
fang pi guo lai
Decipher says:
who is hyena?
nat; says:
sec sch mate
Decipher says:
nat; says: 放elephant过来
nat; says:
u r e biggest moron in my frens list


-
Hyna says:

真是他奶奶的不像话,现在的马铃薯真是越来越荒谬!!
-

nat; says:
lol ppl scold u
Hyna says:

真是他奶奶的不像话,现在的马铃薯真是越来越荒谬!!
Decipher says:
?
Decipher says:
eh
Decipher says:
xiang zai de ma what?
nat; says:
ma ling shu .
Decipher says:
ma siao ling?
nat; says:
wtf is ma siao ling?
Decipher says:
whats the last 2 word?
Decipher says:
athas?
Decipher says:
nvm you wont understand
nat; says:
huang miao .
Decipher says:
whats the alst 2 words
Decipher says:
dont understand
nat; says:
huang miao = ridiculous/atrocious
nat; says:
out of hand lol
Decipher says:
i only know she talking about some potato from toy story being huang miao

nat; says:
WAD TOY STORY!!1
nat; says:
Hyna says:

哇靠,不要根他说中文了,its like playing violin with a effing cow
nat; says:
i must blog this!
Decipher says:
her gen wrong
Decipher says:
her gen is the tree the gen
nat; says:
HAHAHA NICE


-

nat; says:
Decipher says:
her gen wrong
nat; says:
LOL@hian. kena corrected by malingshu
nat; says:
Decipher says:
her gen is the tree the gen
nat; says:
LOLLLLL!
Hyna says:
~!!!
Hyna says:
not this gen meh ?
Hyna says:
i always tot is this geng
Hyna says:
nb
Hyna says:
GO CHECK DICT !
nat; says:

nat; says:
i'd vouch for tt haha
Hyna says:
http://www.google.com.sg/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4ADBF_enSG253SG253&q=%e6%a0%b9%e4%bd%a0%e8%af%b4
Hyna says:
no meh ~~ REALLY
Hyna says:
that gen is, follow, gen leh
Hyna says:
ok
Hyna says:
wo cuo le
Hyna says:
tell him dui bu qi ba ~

-


here at 12:05 PM


Thursday, April 9, 2009


one of the many mad friends.

Hyna says:
anyway, just get me dead... will u help me tell my mum i love her, my gf i m sorry, my sis i ve always doted her, my friends i will see them in hell, and to you, i m glad that i have know you before i go.

Hyna says:
ps: i love u too !

oie; says:
ew .


here at 11:31 AM


Wednesday, April 8, 2009


wxx

i know if i keep seeing you that thought will never go away. but desire often overrule determination. and i won't turn my head away.

maybe i'll really end up keeping the distance and hopefully time can alleviate this fervor. cliche i know, and i also know i just made myself sound like an animal. but i really hope i can devour him!!



but anywayyyyyy all the mourning aside, i just received my online purchases! isn't that like some god damn illuminating news among all the recent calamity (much of it i wouldn't mention at all)? and i'm so expecting the upcoming batch worth over a thousand bucks which is scheduled to arrive within the next 2 weeks. giggle and sniggers! you see why i love working here, all my neighboring colleagues are very encouraging shopaholics!


here at 8:38 AM