i'm just feeling dead sorry for myself.
don't say you are useless, i am not allowing you to activate at all.
i never will. never will dance with his enemy.
don't push it. really. i won't know how to make it up to you.
i dread this feeble awareness, dread having to push you a little further each time.
you didn't sign up for all these.

how is it that everytime i'm here i sum everything up in emo-notion. haven't been granted the best of myself of late. i sit down at the end of every day feeling a little more sad than the one before. a little more distracted too. what the fuck happened to 有花生吃好过没花生吃?

and i drove her into
someone else's eyes, someone else's arms
someone else's obvious moves

here at 5:30 AM

i said i've always liked you, just like how you've described it, as a friend. no, maybe just as a colleague. and haven't i made it dead clear - we are friends, and shall remain as colleagues?
now, leave me alone for fuck sake. i really don't want to start my day with your greetings. i don't want to end my day dampen by your progressive imagination. i don't have an excuse for myself to swallow the debris of your gdi attitude. i don't need all these.
you sum up my 24 years of experience with earthling-i-dread. can you just snap out of it and treat me like a colleague? your imaginations are driving me nuts. i'm there to work, not there to very fatedly meet and eventually date you. hello, what are you, xiao long nu? common sense should tell you that i can't be seeing someone from the same company due to the nature of my job. what more someone like you.
i don't want to keep reiterating that i have a boyfriend and not gonna play along your weird idea of leaving him for you. ya so stop shoving your balloons in my face. effing getting on my nerves.
and please don't join me in my tea breaks whatsoever. it makes me seriously uncomfortable. it makes my clique think that we are up to something cos of your silly attention. how can you be odd enough to be asking if i'm okay when she was the one who got scalded. chio lor.
don't push it.

here at 10:47 PM